Entertainment

The Best Athletes To Have On Your Side In A Zombie Outbreak

Darren - October 4, 2023

Entertainment

The Best Athletes To Have On Your Side In A Zombie Outbreak

Darren - October 4, 2023

Mike Trout

Eight-time All-Star Trout has been one of the best hitters in the MLB his entire career. ‘The Millville Meteor’ is also a seven-time winner of the Silver Slugger Award. The only problems are his constant injuries and that it’s difficult to picture him winning a World Series with the Angels anytime soon, which would be a shame for his legacy.

But when it comes to hitting things, Trout is your man. He’d be perfect for a zombie apocalypse because he’d bounce bats off their skulls like they’re baseballs. Trout is also a great athlete, leading the American League in runs four times. He can do everything, including save you.

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Robert Guerrero

‘The Ghost’ is a two-weight world champion, holding multiple boxing titles throughout his career. He’s still living down his embarrassment against Floyd Mayweather. But make no mistake, Guerrero is a tough cookie and not somebody you’d want to annoy. At least, not with his love of guns.

In fact, before the Mayweather fight, police busted him for carrying a gun at JFK airport. He also had three high-capacity bullet magazines in his possession. While we don’t condone carrying firearms in airports, he’d definitely be a useful bodyguard in a zombie outbreak situation.

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Zdeno Chara

This Boston Bruins captain is the tallest athlete ever to play in the NHL. A James Norris Memorial Trophy winner, he led the Bruins to the Stanley Cup in 2011. The Czech star is a physical specimen. With the build to match his height, he’s a powerhouse on the ice.

Chara has a reputation for being one of the nastiest fighters in the NHL. Now imagine this 6’9″ giant coming at you swinging a hockey stick for good measure. Overall, it’s a terrifying thought. You’d definitely want to keep on his good side. Then, consider his leadership qualities and you have a true warrior to assist you in your zombie survival efforts.

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Manny Pacquaio

We don’t think much is capable of rattling Pacquaio. The world’s only eight-division boxing champion endured an upbringing that most people couldn’t imagine. His own father killed, cooked, and ate his pet dog in front of him. Later he’d live in a cramped apartment on the same street as Muslim extremists.

Pacquaio even dropped out of high school because of extreme poverty. Thisa man who has faced extreme challenges but has overcome them all. With his ferocious punching power, humility, and political influence, he’s one of the most unique and inspiring people on this list. He’s definitely useful for the end of the world.

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Chloe Kim

Still very young, Kim is already a legend in the snowboarding world. The Californian is of South Korean descent and won a gold medal at the 2018 Winter Olympics. She was the first to win the title at all four major events at the World Championships, Olympics, Youth Olympics, and X Games.

That makes her extremely useful if you live on a mountain. Yes, a big NFL quarterback with a gun might offer better protection, but if you need someone to move quickly in the snow, then Kim is your woman. With her skills, the Princeton alum would bring many useful attributes.

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Tyson Fury

Fury is the best heavyweight boxer on the planet right now. A master of movement and distance, the lineal and WBC champion is a ferocious opponent who outclasses almost everybody in front of him. He also loves a good party.

How could you feel sad with Fury around? The man adores kebabs, coke, and alcohol. In short, he’d be a great source of entertainment. Fury also enjoys going clay pigeon shooting and firing off a few rounds at the range. As long as you can stop him from walking you into trouble, he’d be a great asset.

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Alex Honnold

In a zombie outbreak, you would need an endurance athlete who can pull off seemingly impossible physical feats, and Honnold ticks all those boxes. An elite free soloist, Honnold is most famous for climbing the face of El Capitan, one of the greatest achievements ever.

Honnold actually also enjoys living in a van so unlike many of the other athletes on this list, he’s definitely not a diva. He spends the most exhilarating moments of his life millimeters from death. In sum, he’s capable of handling the most terrifying stressful situations.

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Lewis Hamilton

One of the greatest Formula One drivers of all time – and some say the greatest – Hamilton is a legend. He also had a tough childhood with his father abandoning his family at a young age. Incredibly, he even endured bullying at school. It’s hard to believe now that this hyper-confident figure would experience that.

That’s why he took up karate. So when you add his fighting skills to his incredible driving ability, you’ve got a superb asset on your side. Combine that with the number of properties he owns as well as cars and private jets, and Hamilton is the perfect athlete to have on your side in a zombie takeover.

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Dwight Howard

Howard was one of the nicest players in the NBA throughout his lengthy career. The former center is an eight-time All-Star and a five-time member of the All-NBA first team. Raised in Atlanta, Georgia, Howard still keeps a farm in his home state today. He has exactly 20 snakes as pets as well as cows, hogs, turkeys, and deer.

Furthermore, he has a collection of about 50 guns. Yes, you read that correctly. In short, Howard has enough firepower to equip a small regiment of soldiers. So if you want an elite athlete who has a small arsenal and also grows vegetables then this is your man. Also, considering the amount of money he donates to charity, he’d actually probably want to help you.

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Laurent Duvernay-Tardif

Duvernay-Tardif is a Super Bowl-winning guard with the Kansas City Chiefs. Standing tall at 6″5, he’s a hulking figure. In short, he’s perfect if you need somebody to stand behind when it gets crazy. But that’s not even the main reason why he’s on this list.

The Quebec native is also the first medical school graduate to play in the NFL. So as well as being a perfect physical specimen he’s also a trained medical practitioner. Forget rubbish first aid from someone who watched a YouTube video. This man is the real deal.

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Deontay Wilder

If you want someone by your side who will do whatever it takes, then Wilder is your man. The former WBC heavyweight champion did lose his title to Tyson Fury. But despite this, he’s still got the scariest knockout power in the division today. He legitimately has the touch of death.

He possesses an incredible work ethic. Wilder became a boxer just to raise money for his sick daughter’s treatment. Within a couple of years, he was at the Olympics with the US national team. Nobody would make a better bodyguard than ‘The Bronze Bomber.’

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Carson Wentz

Former NFL quarterback Wentz is a Super Bowl champion. He won his first ring in 2017 and only an injury cost him the MVP award. At 6’5″ and 237 pounds, he’s a beast of a man. But why is he here ahead of someone like Patrick Mahomes?

To sum up, it’s because he’s an avid hunter. If you don’t believe us, then just check out his Amazon store. Forget football because hunting is its main theme. As you can see from the pictures above, he’s never happier than when he’s got a dead animal in front of him. Isn’t that nice?

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Usain Bolt

What would happen if you needed to get something somewhere very quickly on foot in a zombie takeover? The majority of us couch potatoes struggle to get to the door to collect a pizza delivery. That’s why Bolt is a magnificent asset for any zombie survival squad.

The Jamaican’s life has been all about running very fast. An eight-time Olympic gold medallist, Bolt is the only sprinter to win Olympic 100m and 200m titles at three consecutive Olympics. If you need someone to race into Walmart for some toilet paper and bullets, Bolt is your man.

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Chad Mendes

Perennial UFC featherweight contender Mendes never managed to get his hands on the belt. But he did provide some incredible moments of action against brilliant opponents. ‘Money’ is a great wrestler and has genuine knockout power in his hands. Only recently retired he’d definitely still be a great man for a crisis.

As well as his fighting skills, he also loves hunting. Throughout his career he hunted much of his food, preferring the protein-rich wild game to supermarket-packaged meat. In sum, Mendes is a great fighter and an excellent shot. He’s not a bad chef either – especially if you love barbecue.

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Kyle Busch

If you need a driver for a crisis then NASCAR legend Busch is your man. Drivers have to go around the track for hours upon end so he’s got incredible endurance. When you add in the heat of that environment and his ability to win under pressure, then you’ve got a man with unique abilities on your side.

Busch also is a big fan of hunting. NASAR even has a range of hunting gear in his name. ‘The Candy Man’ definitely offers a whole range of skills for an outbreak crisis. The 2015 and 2019 NASCAR Cup Series Champion is a seasoned competitor with no signs of slowing down. He’d be a great getaway driver.

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Jon Jones

UFC heavyweight champion Jones is more than a little bit unhinged. He’s a brilliant MMA fighter so you’d definitely want him next to you in a scrap. Meanwhile, he’s got guns too as we saw when police arrested him for negligent use of a firearm. We don’t condone that, but during the end of the world, nobody will care.

The other advantage of having Jones by your side is that he’s not afraid to go too far. This is a man who has a self-confessed drinking problem and has been in an insane amount of scrapes. But like a cockroach, he always bounces back. You’ve got to give him credit for that.

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Valentina Shevchenko

It’s obvious that Shevchenko is a spy masquerading as a UFC fighter. First of all, she’s one of the most dominant MMA fighters on the planet, with nobody in the flyweight division able to get near her. However, it’s her extracurricular activities that make her a great person to have by your side.

She loves guns so much that she has a Glock tattoo. Meanwhile, her shooting skills match her fighting prowess and she’s devastating on the range. Then when you add in the fact that she can also fly a plane, you see why this woman is probably more ready for an outbreak than anybody else in the world.

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Lebron James

If you want someone streetwise on your side, then nobody is better than James. The Lakers’ hero had a tough upbringing. Raised on the mean streets of Akron, Ohio, he moved from apartment to apartment in seedy neighborhoods with his mother. He knows the meaning of adversity.

Nowadays, he’s a living legend. With his physical gifts, he’d be an asset to any team during the outbreak. Add in his charisma and you’ve got yourself a real leader. LeBron is also one of the richest athletes on the planet with mansions on the east and west coasts. Take your pick. Oh, and he likes guns too.

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6. Francis Ngannou

Ngannou’s life is straight out of a movie. The Cameroonian famously worked in a sand quarry from the age of 12. Street gangs tried to get the young giant into crime but he rejected them. Then he moved to Paris where he wanted to be a boxer. But he ended up homeless on the streets.

However, he would go on to become one of the most frightening MMA fighters in the world. With his power, his understanding of what it means to have nothing, and his will to succeed, Ngannou is the perfect athlete to have by your side during an outbreak.

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Adam Vinatieri

Once the oldest player in the NFL, Vinatieri is a legend of the game. A four-time Super Bowl winner, he’s one of the best placekickers in league history. Vinatieri holds NFL career records for most points scored, most postseason points scored, most field goals made, and most overtime field goals made.

However, he also owns Record Breaking Ranch, one of the premier whitetail deer hunting destinations in the US. Vinatieri loves the outdoors almost more than he loves football. He’s hunted since he was a boy in South Dakota. He’s shot big game everywhere from Alaska to Africa.

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Kyle Walker

On the face of it, Walker doesn’t offer more than any other person on this list. Sure, the Manchester City right-back can run fast. But otherwise, he doesn’t have many transferrable skills for the end of the world. Or so you might think. However, there’s something he can offer.

A wild party. Walker still managed to get two hookers to come to his house even during the pandemic. He got in a lot of trouble but we’re not counting that against him. First of all, he would be incredibly entertaining to have on your team and he’d also be able to help repopulate the world.

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Colt McCoy

Veteran quarterback McCoy knows all about the wild. The New York Giants star had a proper Texan upbringing. As a youngster, he played with BB guns before his dad moved him onto the real thing. However, his father made sure that he respected the power of a gun.

Nowadays, McCoy loves to take off to the wilderness for hunting and fishing trips. He also believes that it’s important to only kill an animal if you’re going to eat it. So, in short, he’s well able to clean them after taking them down. Add in his size and athleticism and you’ve got a great teammate for the end of the world.

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Valerie Loureda

A Taekwondo master who now wrestles for the WWE after fighting for Bellator, she’s one of the most desirable female athletes in combat sports. She’s stunningly beautiful and she knows it with some insane thirst-traps on her social media.

With Loureda’s combination of beauty, brains, and brawn she’s the ideal teammate in a crisis. As well as being able to destroy everybody in a fight, she also looks good doing it. And in a time of humanitarian need, it’s the little things that make all the difference. We’d all need that positive energy.

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Conor McGregor

McGregor is perfect for this type of scenario. First of all, he has a mansion, a whiskey company, and a boat. Those are all excellent for a crisis because you can hide away and drink until it’s all over. He’s also a wild man who you definitely would want on your side instead of somebody else’s.

We know that he can fight because he was a two-weight UFC champion. But he also is just a tad bit unhinged. We’ve seen him punch an old man, throw a dolly at a bus, and spend the night in jail more than once. ‘The Notorious’ has also risen from being on welfare so he wouldn’t moan about having to rough it a bit.

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The Best Athletes To Have On Your Side In A Zombie Outbreak

The Best Athletes To Have On Your Side In A Zombie Outbreak

Mike Trout

Robert Guerrero

Zdeno Chara

Manny Pacquaio

Chloe Kim

Tyson Fury

Alex Honnold

Lewis Hamilton

Dwight Howard

Laurent Duvernay-Tardif

Deontay Wilder

Carson Wentz

Usain Bolt

Chad Mendes

Kyle Busch

Jon Jones

Valentina Shevchenko

Lebron James

6. Francis Ngannou

Adam Vinatieri

Kyle Walker

Colt McCoy

Valerie Loureda

Conor McGregor

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